Join the club Isabel. I guess we know that it doesn’t help but we do it anyways. I still beat up on myself when I do it. I have REALLY tried lately to just REPLACE what I really want to say with a positive comment instead. It has seemed to work for me anyways. If I look at something he is eating/doing and want to say something negative, I just “twist” it a bit. Me personlly could never shut my mouth entirely so to curb the craving to say something (just like food), I say something else. I have recently lost a lot of weight but I still don’t eat very well. I have learned how to finally do it by not depriving myself, but just, taking 1/2 of what I want to take, eating 1 cookie instead of five, sneaking in a “better” choice now and then and refusing to turn on the TV during the day unless I am moving (folding laundry standing up, cleaning…). Even though I have “rules” about what he can have…they are the same rules for all of my kids & I now just try to encourage him to just “lessen or change” his choice. If he insists, as long as he is not breaking a rule, I do still have a problem, but I’m working on that one. If he sneeks food, I explain to him that he is in trouble for stealing & lying & taking away food that was meant for all…and not the fact that he ate it…Instead of focusing on “not” nagging him, try to just “twist it” and throw in something more positve. This worked for me with the food too. I always looked at it as trying to “not” eat the wrong things…instead of focusing on changing my choices when I feel that I can… If I really mess up, I “try” to say, oops, and do better the next time. It works for me anyway. I really could use another parent to bounce stuff off of. Sometimes I feel REALLY frustrated too.
Dear Nancy,
My son and I disagree on desserts. I think while trying to loose weight he should not have any sweets at all - what do you think? -Judy
Join the club Isabel. I guess we know that it doesn’t help but we do it anyways. I still beat up on myself when I do it. I have REALLY tried lately to just REPLACE what I really want to say with a positive comment instead. It has seemed to work for me anyways. If I look at something he is eating/doing and want to say something negative, I just “twist” it a bit. Me personlly could never shut my mouth entirely so to curb the craving to say something (just like food), I say something else. I have recently lost a lot of weight but I still don’t eat very well. I have learned how to finally do it by not depriving myself, but just, taking 1/2 of what I want to take, eating 1 cookie instead of five, sneaking in a “better” choice now and then and refusing to turn on the TV during the day unless I am moving (folding laundry standing up, cleaning…). Even though I have “rules” about what he can have…they are the same rules for all of my kids & I now just try to encourage him to just “lessen or change” his choice. If he insists, as long as he is not breaking a rule, I do still have a problem, but I’m working on that one. If he sneeks food, I explain to him that he is in trouble for stealing & lying & taking away food that was meant for all…and not the fact that he ate it…Instead of focusing on “not” nagging him, try to just “twist it” and throw in something more positve. This worked for me with the food too. I always looked at it as trying to “not” eat the wrong things…instead of focusing on changing my choices when I feel that I can… If I really mess up, I “try” to say, oops, and do better the next time. It works for me anyway. I really could use another parent to bounce stuff off of. Sometimes I feel REALLY frustrated too.